The Week of Mortality.

This week has been punches to the head followed by kicks with steel toed boots. Honestly surprises me that I'm even remotely functional, but the grief just hits in waves leaving me feeling mostly, eerily stable and then I can't stop crying.

It's not just Loke. Loke is... mostly stable at the moment. I got word Wednesday morning that a woman I've considered as a mother had a severe stroke. She was rushed to a hospital and put on life-support before moved to a more specialists hospital near New Orleans. The doctors there found the damage was too severe. She was taken off life-support and the wait began.

On top of this steel-toe boot to the temple, Loke seemed like he had 3 paws in the grave when we woke yesterday morning. He could hardly use his right back leg, his tumor was looking worse and bleeding. This after the vet and I decided that surgery to remove the tumor would not improve Loke's remaining time, only shorten it and make what remained a nightmare of terror and pain. Not how I want my old man to go out.

I had planned to go to Haga Park, north Stockholm, to explore the park, slowly, with Loke and the trike. A sort of 'last ride for old times sake'. In spite of him having such problems, I decided to go any way. Even if he just wobbled around for a few hundred yards, I was sure being beside the trike and on fresh ground would bring him a little joy. We could rest in the SUN and watch the world if he didn't/couldn't run. Then if need be, I could call the vet to arrange his time to go. Completely believed this was what was going to happen.

I swear to you, as soon as he was hitched to the trike, the clock reversed a month back to the husky who happily jogged 12 miles on one of our old loops. He wasn't fast, but he did seem to have endless energy. Kinda like a tractor. No speed, but can keep going for ages. Still was the fastest he's been in weeks.

Took my time with him on the ride. Admired scenery, watched geese, hunted for Alfred Nobel's grave, and made it back to the car with over 4 miles and a husky who didn't want the ride to end.

During the ride, I got word that my Mom J had finally slipped peacefully away.

So, juggling all these emotions at the moment, but still moving on. I'm going to go out with the trike and Loke again tomorrow. Across the inlet from Haga park, there's a large botanical garden with lots of paths and trails as well as grounds of part of the university at Stockholm and other paths and trails. Going to go explore them with Loke if he's feeling as up for it as he was for Haga.

BTW, there's a post about the ride at Haga on my web page as well as more detailed info about the vet visit.

https://terii.wordpress.com/2018/04/13/this-week-has-been-hard/

Huh. I guess I should have put this under ride reports. Oh well. Brain is not working very clearly atm...

Terii